Facebook.
Ugh. I'm so ashamed. It gives me that same thrill that checking my Match.com page did for me back when I was thinking about dating (before I realized how slim the pickings actually were *and* also how impossibly picky I am). It's like rock to a crackhead for me... I gotta smoke it. I spent over 2 hours on it tonight chatting with this person or that person and surfing and posting pictures.
I had made plans with a friend on fb (remember resolution #3?) to go out last Saturday (go resolution #1!) to a New Years Part Deux party but I blew it off because I was a painting machine (ahem, resolution #2) that day and night. Now I have plans to go out with an old friend on Friday. Not sure where quite yet but around the St. Matthews Station area. I've already reached out to so many old friends. I've made tentatively plans to have a drink with an old fraternity brother in February out in Denver. I've laughed about a bad breakup with an ex from 20 years back. I've discussed life, death, divorce, and everything in between. I've chatted with my sis and my bff and my college buddy and my old fraternity brothers and high school classmates and church folks. It's been so amazing and fun and inspiring and therapeutic. How many "ands" can be used in two sentences!?
But, alas, I am still so heartbroken. And I feel so, so lonely. I don't know if this is purposeful, like for my own good, but I feel ignored and I hate it. And I hate that I feel like that. But I am doing my *best* to fight it. It doesn't feel like I'm winning but I'm not losing either. So that is something. Having so many people reach out to me, albeit virtually, is a good dose of positivity for the soul! I am so glad I did this!
Now I just hope it doesn't kill too much productivity. I haven't put it on my phone... yet. ;)
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