I haven't felt this feeling in a good long while.
It's a good feeling. A warm feeling. A feeling of safety.
Somebody cares for me.
A friend of mine crafted the most beautifully thought out gift I have received in my adult life. It all started with a joke about the lack of clocks in my place. I knew that she was up to something and that some sort of construction or fabrication was involved. I knew that this project involved at least two trips to different places.
The gift is a clock. And like so much of my friend's cooking, it's made from scratch. I cannot go into the details of how she put it all together because, frankly, when she was explaining it I was doing my best to fight back tears. It really touched me to have someone care so much about me that they take all of little things they've learned about me and put effort and love into creating something from that.
I think it has been a long time since someone has cared for me like that. And it just feels wonderful.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
I made a "snack" tonight
This "snack" consisted of:
Half block of Gouda from Holland
Third block of mild cheddar
Sleeve of rice crackers
A few reheated chicken kebabs
A reheated beef kebab
Grapes
Cherry tomatoes
Day-old flatbread
Hummus
Reheated baba ghanoush
Soooooo, "snack" was more or less "dinner". It was lovely. And it goes without saying that my guest that shared my snack with me only enhanced the evening.
Half block of Gouda from Holland
Third block of mild cheddar
Sleeve of rice crackers
A few reheated chicken kebabs
A reheated beef kebab
Grapes
Cherry tomatoes
Day-old flatbread
Hummus
Reheated baba ghanoush
Soooooo, "snack" was more or less "dinner". It was lovely. And it goes without saying that my guest that shared my snack with me only enhanced the evening.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Scotland Yard's newest inspector...
... is Inspector Chick Pea!
After a yummy dinner at Shiraz, Chick Pea and I went back to my place and broke out the board games. Chick Pea chose Scotland Yard and we played two rounds, one each as Mister X and the inspectors. We drew. What impressed me was how fast she picked up the game mechanics. I pride myself on being an excellently elusive Mister X and yet, on her initial play through, she nabbed me... hehe, oh boy did she! :)
Looking forward to more board game playing with her.
After a yummy dinner at Shiraz, Chick Pea and I went back to my place and broke out the board games. Chick Pea chose Scotland Yard and we played two rounds, one each as Mister X and the inspectors. We drew. What impressed me was how fast she picked up the game mechanics. I pride myself on being an excellently elusive Mister X and yet, on her initial play through, she nabbed me... hehe, oh boy did she! :)
Looking forward to more board game playing with her.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Twos-day
Sunday Funday.
Monday drama.
Tough day.
Work stunk.
Tickets unresolved.
Request made.
Request granted.
Lovely evening.
Too short.
Television blamed.
Slept soundly.
Early meeting.
Late commute.
So cold!
Negative vibes.
General drama.
Archer lunch.
Tony Boombozz.
Lame afternoon.
Gas stop.
Bank stop.
Parent visit.
Revolution catchup.
Soccer victory.
Missed chick-a-dee.
Hearthstone beta.
Already sore.
Late bedtime.
Monday drama.
Tough day.
Work stunk.
Tickets unresolved.
Request made.
Request granted.
Lovely evening.
Too short.
Television blamed.
Slept soundly.
Early meeting.
Late commute.
So cold!
Negative vibes.
General drama.
Archer lunch.
Tony Boombozz.
Lame afternoon.
Gas stop.
Bank stop.
Parent visit.
Revolution catchup.
Soccer victory.
Missed chick-a-dee.
Hearthstone beta.
Already sore.
Late bedtime.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Funday Limericks
I had afternoon company coming over
So I left for my neighborhood Kroger
Gouda, milk, soda, candy bar
Then out to my car
Where I was almost hit by a Land Rover
The eggs in a basket were yummy
The fig in the cookies so gummy
Tomato gravy for the win
Followed with Burnt Ends
All made for a satisfied fat tummy
In the past, this day I call Sunday
Was just a day, the day before Monday
Until this chick-a-dee
Came and podded my pea
And now I think of today as our Funday!
So I left for my neighborhood Kroger
Gouda, milk, soda, candy bar
Then out to my car
Where I was almost hit by a Land Rover
The eggs in a basket were yummy
The fig in the cookies so gummy
Tomato gravy for the win
Followed with Burnt Ends
All made for a satisfied fat tummy
In the past, this day I call Sunday
Was just a day, the day before Monday
Until this chick-a-dee
Came and podded my pea
And now I think of today as our Funday!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Hearthstone Open Beta
Question(s):
Where were you all day Saturday?
Why didn't you answer my text/call/email on Saturday?
Were you able to get out of your complex with all this new snow and ice?
Did you shower on Saturday?
Did you do laundry on Saturday?
Did you go to the grocery store on Saturday?
Did you eat?
Did you sleep?
Answer (to all questions above):
I joined the Hearthstone open beta.
Where were you all day Saturday?
Why didn't you answer my text/call/email on Saturday?
Were you able to get out of your complex with all this new snow and ice?
Did you shower on Saturday?
Did you do laundry on Saturday?
Did you go to the grocery store on Saturday?
Did you eat?
Did you sleep?
Answer (to all questions above):
I joined the Hearthstone open beta.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Five Friday Facts
1. Central Futbol Club is happy to have their goalkeeper back.
After taking a mid-season break and then missing additional games due to illness, I returned to the roster of Central FC... on tournament night, no less. Tournament night is the night when all the teams are seeded and play in a single-elimination tournament. The games are shortened by an entire half. And the play is intense. This is how I feel about tournament night: I want to either win the whole damn thing or lose the very first game. So how did Central FC fare? Hell, we lost in the finals... worst possible scenario. They were all great games though and everyone played well.
2. The Shock Tart, silly as it sounds, is the best martini at 60 West.
If you like nontraditional and sweet martinis, that is. They used to have a drink called the Flux Capacitor and it was the bomb. They made one for me time before last even after it had been off the menu but I fell in love with the Shock Tart that night too. Tonight was no different. And veggie goat cheese dip. Nom!
3. My new job is a very different beast than previous work experience.
I like it. And I hope I'm good at it. I think I am. There are personnel management situations that I am capable of handling but feel kind of bad for saying one thing and knowing something else. I understand the need and comply. But I fear secrets build secrets and, hell, transparency is what we do. Today was a day like that.
4. Blood work came back negative.
Does that sentence, out of context, sound like bad news? It does to me. But no, that sentence is good news, I suppose. Going back next week.
5. Savant is coming to North America.
I will see a show. The problem is that the *week* he is in North America is the Developer's Summit at work. The night I would want to see him in St. Louis is the night after an all-night event. Double, double toil and trouble. Argh.
After taking a mid-season break and then missing additional games due to illness, I returned to the roster of Central FC... on tournament night, no less. Tournament night is the night when all the teams are seeded and play in a single-elimination tournament. The games are shortened by an entire half. And the play is intense. This is how I feel about tournament night: I want to either win the whole damn thing or lose the very first game. So how did Central FC fare? Hell, we lost in the finals... worst possible scenario. They were all great games though and everyone played well.
2. The Shock Tart, silly as it sounds, is the best martini at 60 West.
If you like nontraditional and sweet martinis, that is. They used to have a drink called the Flux Capacitor and it was the bomb. They made one for me time before last even after it had been off the menu but I fell in love with the Shock Tart that night too. Tonight was no different. And veggie goat cheese dip. Nom!
3. My new job is a very different beast than previous work experience.
I like it. And I hope I'm good at it. I think I am. There are personnel management situations that I am capable of handling but feel kind of bad for saying one thing and knowing something else. I understand the need and comply. But I fear secrets build secrets and, hell, transparency is what we do. Today was a day like that.
4. Blood work came back negative.
Does that sentence, out of context, sound like bad news? It does to me. But no, that sentence is good news, I suppose. Going back next week.
5. Savant is coming to North America.
I will see a show. The problem is that the *week* he is in North America is the Developer's Summit at work. The night I would want to see him in St. Louis is the night after an all-night event. Double, double toil and trouble. Argh.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
I'm a fool
Thought my friend was getting shitty with me. Called her out. Then I was the one who felt bad.
Samurai Jack
For those of you who missed Genndy Tartakovsky's works during the early 2000s I am sorry. He was the man behind such classics as Dexter's Laboratory, The Power Puff Grrrls, Samurai Jack, and The Clone Wars microseries. His animation is very stylized. His stories are very tight. He keeps dialogue to a minimum. And I love when it all comes together.
Those who know me know some of the things I love: Star Wars, art, video games, soccer. There are few who know of my deep love for Samurai Jack and his never-ending run-ins with the evil, shape-shifting sorcerer Aku. I thought the series was brilliant. I show my niece and nephew the cartoons these days and they hold up. In fact, they sometimes ask their uncle if they could watch "that cartoon with the guy with the sword."
I don't really have a point. I'm working on piece that is an homage to Samurai Jack. I see that reruns are back on the Hub channel. Talks of a movie to wrap things up are still rumored. Mako, the iconic voice of Aku, passed away in 2006 though. But still, perhaps, in some form or another, the saga of Samurai Jack may continue...
Those who know me know some of the things I love: Star Wars, art, video games, soccer. There are few who know of my deep love for Samurai Jack and his never-ending run-ins with the evil, shape-shifting sorcerer Aku. I thought the series was brilliant. I show my niece and nephew the cartoons these days and they hold up. In fact, they sometimes ask their uncle if they could watch "that cartoon with the guy with the sword."
I don't really have a point. I'm working on piece that is an homage to Samurai Jack. I see that reruns are back on the Hub channel. Talks of a movie to wrap things up are still rumored. Mako, the iconic voice of Aku, passed away in 2006 though. But still, perhaps, in some form or another, the saga of Samurai Jack may continue...
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
"Only tears can bring a dreamer back to earth."
A day of ups and downs.
Mom had cataract surgery on her other eye but she feels good and it turned out as expected. I had 6.5 hours blocked off for meetings and appointments. That gave me three 30 minute breaks here and there. And it was a busy day. McD's cheeseburgers for lunch. Blech. Cut out early to take Honey Badger to the airport. Made a run to Sam's to load up on tea drank (1 for me, 3 for dad).
Had a very interesting visit with my doctor. Copious amounts of blood were drawn. What's a gill? Possibly but probably not thyroid issues. Possibly but probably not heavy metal poisoning. Probably something else. Possibly one other thing. Laughable phone call afterward but it put me in a rotten mood.
Headed home and started texting Sexy Back about sillines. Her little grrrl with the fake mustache was hilarious. Hilarious!!! And she realized something funny... such a small world! I wonder if a punch from Sexy Back would even hurt. (I kinda doubt it)
Counted down the moments before Chick Pea showed up. I knew she was bringing me dinner and I was excited to see what she made. What I didn't realize is that she was bringing dinner for SIX! Omg, it was so nommy and I'ven't even *tasted* everything yet. We chilled, watched a show, told stories. She's really such an incredible person. She does so much and considers it just part of her day. I strive to be as productive in my daily life. Hated to let her go tonight.
After she left I started sorting my memory bins further. I was trying to split them by age for the longest time but kept having trouble. I think I've got it down though. Childhood. Middle School. High School. College. 20s. Marriage #1. 30s. Marriage #2. 40s. Legal & Taxes. Efforts stalled out very close to the end. I have to further sort my 20s bin and then go through a humongous pile of pictures strewn across the ages. At least the mess is off of the kitchen floor.
Wound down by watching UofL annihilate USF and nomming on rice crispy treats.
Thinking back on a full day and smiling. I have very good friends surrounding me and supporting me with their love. Cracked open my fortune cookie from last night's Great Wall: "Only tears can bring a dreamer back to earth."
Smiles abound here! :)
UPDATE: Chick Pea's ciabatta kicks all kinds of ass!
Mom had cataract surgery on her other eye but she feels good and it turned out as expected. I had 6.5 hours blocked off for meetings and appointments. That gave me three 30 minute breaks here and there. And it was a busy day. McD's cheeseburgers for lunch. Blech. Cut out early to take Honey Badger to the airport. Made a run to Sam's to load up on tea drank (1 for me, 3 for dad).
Had a very interesting visit with my doctor. Copious amounts of blood were drawn. What's a gill? Possibly but probably not thyroid issues. Possibly but probably not heavy metal poisoning. Probably something else. Possibly one other thing. Laughable phone call afterward but it put me in a rotten mood.
Headed home and started texting Sexy Back about sillines. Her little grrrl with the fake mustache was hilarious. Hilarious!!! And she realized something funny... such a small world! I wonder if a punch from Sexy Back would even hurt. (I kinda doubt it)
Counted down the moments before Chick Pea showed up. I knew she was bringing me dinner and I was excited to see what she made. What I didn't realize is that she was bringing dinner for SIX! Omg, it was so nommy and I'ven't even *tasted* everything yet. We chilled, watched a show, told stories. She's really such an incredible person. She does so much and considers it just part of her day. I strive to be as productive in my daily life. Hated to let her go tonight.
After she left I started sorting my memory bins further. I was trying to split them by age for the longest time but kept having trouble. I think I've got it down though. Childhood. Middle School. High School. College. 20s. Marriage #1. 30s. Marriage #2. 40s. Legal & Taxes. Efforts stalled out very close to the end. I have to further sort my 20s bin and then go through a humongous pile of pictures strewn across the ages. At least the mess is off of the kitchen floor.
Wound down by watching UofL annihilate USF and nomming on rice crispy treats.
Thinking back on a full day and smiling. I have very good friends surrounding me and supporting me with their love. Cracked open my fortune cookie from last night's Great Wall: "Only tears can bring a dreamer back to earth."
Smiles abound here! :)
UPDATE: Chick Pea's ciabatta kicks all kinds of ass!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
What a relaxing day!
I haven't had such a relaxing day in a long time. The ice storm kept me in for most of the day. It was a good, albeit hectic, day "at" the office (I worked from home in my pjs). My Tuesday Archer Lunch didn't happen due to the weather but that's okay. Sweet Pea came over for an afternoon visit and that was lovely. We talked about lighting and bedroom arrangements and all of the things that match the color turquoise. And of course we teased each other. That grrrl is so much like me... it's like a female clone that ended up with a few better qualities than I did. Haha! Time with her seems to just fly by. She left and I gobbled up some Great Wall... Singapore Chow Mei Fun and Curry Chicken (STAY AWAY FROM CURRY CHICKEN BECAUSE IT IS BOILED TO DEATH AND GROSS). Then I got an invite to go to Chick Pea's house to watch Firefly. I never got into that show but I had always heard great things about it. Hung out with Chick Pea until it got late. Came home, wound down, and went to bed early. Mmm, good day. :)
Monday, January 20, 2014
2014 New Year Resolutions - Day 20
Pop Quiz! We (the royal "we") are going to check in on the 2014 New Year Resolutions progress, 20 days into 2014 with a 7 question TRUE/FALSE quiz.
And without further ado:
"Social And Media"
1. Be social! Go out once a week. TRUE/FALSE:
KINDA. I have been social. Pizza and brownies with Sexy Back. Pizza-less inaugural Archer lunch with the boys. Pan's Labyrinth and Funny Face with Sweet Pea. Curtain Epiphany 2014! Honey Badger's 35-minute power nap. Catching up and conversation over the UofL game that we didn't even watch! Sharing drinks and saying goodbye to Einstein at Against the Grain.
I've done all of these things since the beginning of the year. So the answer should simply be TRUE, right? The problem is that, other than the last one on the list, all of these fantastic things have happened at my place. So while I feel like a butterfly (as in social butterfly... don't know how else one would take that but that's neither here nor there - I felt like clarifying... perhaps like how Muhammad Ali in that I am...) I am not exactly getting out much. Still have 12% unpacking and arranging to do. And then I have to clean. Thank you, Dyson! The weather has been crap and that's been keeping me in. Oh, I am certain the Weather Bomb had something to do with it too as thousands perished in the blistery vortex the scientists warned us about - IF ONLY WE HAD LISTENED!*
* The sentence immediately preceding this asterisk is completely false although not too far from how I felt the news was attempting to portray it
2. Make media! Create a work of art every other week.
TRUE. I have really gone ape shit in the studio. SIX PIECES! Six. I've been posting everything. And people say the sweetest things! It's so uplifting. But yeah, six pieces... that sets me out until the Spring but I have no intention of slowing down.
3. Social media. Raising the self-imposed Internet ban! TRUE/FALSE:
TRUE: I have been very busy with work and painting. I am back on Facebook and it's a lot of fun. I need to at least get my LinkedIn page/profile/whatever updated. I don't want to gussy it up too much though, lest my employer think I'm looking to walk. Ha! I just take pictures with my phone so Flickr may be overkill. We'll see.
4. Social exercise. Run 300 miles. TRUE/FALSE:
EHHH. It's COLD. I can't run in this cold. So I'm waiting. I still have some days before I have to start with the Hal Higdon Half Marathon Training Guide - Novice 1 Program. The problem is that I'm out of soccer shape and haven't played since before Christmas. It sure has felt good though. :|
5. Read media. Finish reading a book every other month. TRUE/FALSE:
EHHH. I have demoted The Hobbit from the first book to be read and will instead bestow that honor to The Art of War. It's a loaner from... well, I can't call her Runner Grrrl anymore because she had surgery... a good friend.
6. Thrifty weekly spending. Spend less than "the magic number" per week on average weekly expenses. TRUE/FALSE:
MOSTLY? Dude, I killed it the first two weeks of January. This week, eh...I'm over by $10.92. I can live the rest of the week with either food here or pocket change and folding money in the car. It's only ten dollars! Plus a little bit of that helped make miracle Curtain Epiphany 2014 (tees available soon). Besides, on average, I am still well under my magic number by $111/week. Mark it 8, Dude.
7. Do not touch the froggy. TRUE/FALSE:
WELLLLLLL. According to the parameters of this resolution when I first put it out there in my head, then answer is TRUE. But the parameters were ambiguously clear whilst concurrently clearly ambiguous. In fact, a number of things I had never considered could now be considered contenders for addendums to the resolution. Since the resolution itself has nothing to do with either "touching" or "froggies" it would be hard to explain using those terms. Perhaps another time. Suffice to say, TRUE.
And without further ado:
"Social And Media"
1. Be social! Go out once a week. TRUE/FALSE:
KINDA. I have been social. Pizza and brownies with Sexy Back. Pizza-less inaugural Archer lunch with the boys. Pan's Labyrinth and Funny Face with Sweet Pea. Curtain Epiphany 2014! Honey Badger's 35-minute power nap. Catching up and conversation over the UofL game that we didn't even watch! Sharing drinks and saying goodbye to Einstein at Against the Grain.
I've done all of these things since the beginning of the year. So the answer should simply be TRUE, right? The problem is that, other than the last one on the list, all of these fantastic things have happened at my place. So while I feel like a butterfly (as in social butterfly... don't know how else one would take that but that's neither here nor there - I felt like clarifying... perhaps like how Muhammad Ali in that I am...) I am not exactly getting out much. Still have 12% unpacking and arranging to do. And then I have to clean. Thank you, Dyson! The weather has been crap and that's been keeping me in. Oh, I am certain the Weather Bomb had something to do with it too as thousands perished in the blistery vortex the scientists warned us about - IF ONLY WE HAD LISTENED!*
* The sentence immediately preceding this asterisk is completely false although not too far from how I felt the news was attempting to portray it
2. Make media! Create a work of art every other week.
TRUE. I have really gone ape shit in the studio. SIX PIECES! Six. I've been posting everything. And people say the sweetest things! It's so uplifting. But yeah, six pieces... that sets me out until the Spring but I have no intention of slowing down.
3. Social media. Raising the self-imposed Internet ban! TRUE/FALSE:
TRUE: I have been very busy with work and painting. I am back on Facebook and it's a lot of fun. I need to at least get my LinkedIn page/profile/whatever updated. I don't want to gussy it up too much though, lest my employer think I'm looking to walk. Ha! I just take pictures with my phone so Flickr may be overkill. We'll see.
4. Social exercise. Run 300 miles. TRUE/FALSE:
EHHH. It's COLD. I can't run in this cold. So I'm waiting. I still have some days before I have to start with the Hal Higdon Half Marathon Training Guide - Novice 1 Program. The problem is that I'm out of soccer shape and haven't played since before Christmas. It sure has felt good though. :|
5. Read media. Finish reading a book every other month. TRUE/FALSE:
EHHH. I have demoted The Hobbit from the first book to be read and will instead bestow that honor to The Art of War. It's a loaner from... well, I can't call her Runner Grrrl anymore because she had surgery... a good friend.
6. Thrifty weekly spending. Spend less than "the magic number" per week on average weekly expenses. TRUE/FALSE:
MOSTLY? Dude, I killed it the first two weeks of January. This week, eh...I'm over by $10.92. I can live the rest of the week with either food here or pocket change and folding money in the car. It's only ten dollars! Plus a little bit of that helped make miracle Curtain Epiphany 2014 (tees available soon). Besides, on average, I am still well under my magic number by $111/week. Mark it 8, Dude.
7. Do not touch the froggy. TRUE/FALSE:
WELLLLLLL. According to the parameters of this resolution when I first put it out there in my head, then answer is TRUE. But the parameters were ambiguously clear whilst concurrently clearly ambiguous. In fact, a number of things I had never considered could now be considered contenders for addendums to the resolution. Since the resolution itself has nothing to do with either "touching" or "froggies" it would be hard to explain using those terms. Perhaps another time. Suffice to say, TRUE.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Sunday in a nutshell
Reports in the morning. Sweet Pea came over for a visit. Power cord at work. Lunch at Ramiro's. Good conversations. Target run. Checked out Sweet Pea's house. Curtain situation: Resolved. Funny Face. Big smiles. More hanging. Always good times. Finished reports. Pigged out on homemade pretzels and fudge. Watched late-night movies. Woke up on the couch at 6:54am.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
It Was A Good Day
Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from a girl want to dig out
Hooked it up on later as I hit the do'
Thinking will i live another twenty fo'
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop at a red light
Looking in my mirror not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Which park, are y'all playin' basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freaking brothers every way like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day
-- Ice Cube
Just waking up in the morning gotta thank Gawd
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, quick blog
And momma cooked a breakfast with fried hog
I dropped the goods off, got my payoff
(gotta side thing if I ever get laid off)
Forgot my list as I hit the do'
Thinking what to buy for the next twenty fo'
I gotta spend 'cause I got me a cute date
And if we hit it off, she may even stay late
Had to stop at a red light
Looking to my left, and turned a red on right
And everything is alright
I got some stuff from stores and I'm set for all night
Facebooked my buddy and askin' ya'll
Still coming, for UofL basketball?
Crack open bourbon and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and drank a triple double
Having fun everyday 'til my last day I can't believe, today was a good day
-- DeadBrinley
I just read in the news recently (even though I've mostly cut myself off from the news... you guys realize it's about a bunch of stuff we have no control over like weather, politics, religion that rarely affect our day-to-day lives and yet we feel compelled to read/watch everyday?!) that Ice Cube wanted to get the Goodyear blimp to light up "ICE CUBE'S A PIMP" to benefit some charity. I don't think the old white guys who run the gnomes and gremlins that crank the cranks that make 'merica move forward will allow it, but that would AWESOME!
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn't pig out
Finally got a call from a girl want to dig out
Hooked it up on later as I hit the do'
Thinking will i live another twenty fo'
I gotta go cause I got me a drop top
And if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop
Had to stop at a red light
Looking in my mirror not a jacker in sight
And everything is alright
I got a beep from Kim and she can fuck all night
Called up the homies and I'm askin' y'all
Which park, are y'all playin' basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Freaking brothers every way like M.J.
I can't believe, today was a good day
-- Ice Cube
Just waking up in the morning gotta thank Gawd
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dogs, quick blog
And momma cooked a breakfast with fried hog
I dropped the goods off, got my payoff
(gotta side thing if I ever get laid off)
Forgot my list as I hit the do'
Thinking what to buy for the next twenty fo'
I gotta spend 'cause I got me a cute date
And if we hit it off, she may even stay late
Had to stop at a red light
Looking to my left, and turned a red on right
And everything is alright
I got some stuff from stores and I'm set for all night
Facebooked my buddy and askin' ya'll
Still coming, for UofL basketball?
Crack open bourbon and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and drank a triple double
Having fun everyday 'til my last day I can't believe, today was a good day
-- DeadBrinley
I just read in the news recently (even though I've mostly cut myself off from the news... you guys realize it's about a bunch of stuff we have no control over like weather, politics, religion that rarely affect our day-to-day lives and yet we feel compelled to read/watch everyday?!) that Ice Cube wanted to get the Goodyear blimp to light up "ICE CUBE'S A PIMP" to benefit some charity. I don't think the old white guys who run the gnomes and gremlins that crank the cranks that make 'merica move forward will allow it, but that would AWESOME!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Running on empty
I'm out of gas. Emotionally, mentally, physically, interdimensionally, and literally. That latter one is easily remedied with a trip to the gas station. The others will take time and rest. The problem is that I do not have time to take, which disallows the aforementioned rest.
My work week ended but my work did not. I have 6 reports to complete tomorrow. I have done a ton of research and will have great stories to tell for each product in my decks. But I have to compile and compute and tell the story with the data. I like doing this part of my job. It's just tedious.
I have 3 paintings due to be dropped off at the client's house tomorrow at 9am. I am not going to even admit how much I still have left to go. Suffice to say, it's gonna be a late night. I'm going to eat some cold pizza, crack an energy drank, and get the fuck to it!
I have to run errands. I'm out of tea drank. I'm out of food. I'm nearly out of toilet paper. I need to go to Target, Kroger, and probably Sam's. I have a good grocery list (remember the perfect answer?) and I'm hoping my friend appreciates all the snack options that will be available. :) I know they will!
A friend is coming over Saturday to watch some basketball and catch up. Another friend is coming over Sunday to watch a flick. And, wouldn't you know it, I have Monday off. Thank you for being born, Martin Luther (the) King! :)
I will be wrecked in the morning after this last push to get all of the paintings done. But perhaps, just maybe, I might be able to catch up a bit over the weekend. Get myself recharged. Get the rest that I need. Eat the food that I'm missing. Still feeling the manic, crazy, sweaty feeling and I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday to talk about that.
My work week ended but my work did not. I have 6 reports to complete tomorrow. I have done a ton of research and will have great stories to tell for each product in my decks. But I have to compile and compute and tell the story with the data. I like doing this part of my job. It's just tedious.
I have 3 paintings due to be dropped off at the client's house tomorrow at 9am. I am not going to even admit how much I still have left to go. Suffice to say, it's gonna be a late night. I'm going to eat some cold pizza, crack an energy drank, and get the fuck to it!
I have to run errands. I'm out of tea drank. I'm out of food. I'm nearly out of toilet paper. I need to go to Target, Kroger, and probably Sam's. I have a good grocery list (remember the perfect answer?) and I'm hoping my friend appreciates all the snack options that will be available. :) I know they will!
A friend is coming over Saturday to watch some basketball and catch up. Another friend is coming over Sunday to watch a flick. And, wouldn't you know it, I have Monday off. Thank you for being born, Martin Luther (the) King! :)
I will be wrecked in the morning after this last push to get all of the paintings done. But perhaps, just maybe, I might be able to catch up a bit over the weekend. Get myself recharged. Get the rest that I need. Eat the food that I'm missing. Still feeling the manic, crazy, sweaty feeling and I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday to talk about that.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
A day of rage and tears
Made a phone call today with the intent of severing ties. The "victim" was on another call. Can't really "break up" in a voice message so I left a message with a secretary. I told her that I was thinking about leaving and that I had been unhappy with the service for quite some time. She assured me that I would get a call back ASAP.
That's part of the problem. She always says that. And they never call back - ASAP or otherwise. I don't want to be the kid who takes his ball home when he doesn't get his way but I am PAYING for the service. It's not a courtesy, it's part of the service that I expect. So I've heard all of this before. Perhaps this time was different.
Turns out it was. But I started hearing the same excuses and my blood began to boil. I shot up from my desk and frantically searched for an office with a door I could close. I fell about 12 paces short. Right in the hallway, in front of cubes and offices alike, I *kinda* lost my shit. Temper flared. Voice raised. Effectiveness was questions. Expletives were utilized.
It takes a lot to get me worked up. Even more so these days than just a few years ago. And I cannot tell you when I have been that upset. I was given assurances. I was given promises. I don't care about all of that. I want results. And I think I've paid quite enough to have "earned" the right to get them.
I think my outburst, embarrassing as it was, actually may get things rolling. I hate squeaky wheel syndrome. I don't like to be the complainer. But the time had long passed for me to give this person a piece of my mind. I like where things are going, at least preliminarily. We'll see in the coming months if I made the right choice in sticking with them. I hope so. I'm just tired of the fighting.
Well, a few hours later, I guess things just caught up with me and I began sobbing at my desk. I went into a dark office and got my shit back together. I returned to my desk, cracked open a special bottle of Woodford, poured a triple, and gulped it in one motion.
Thankfully the night was not full of further acts of self-destruction. In fact, quite the opposite. A friend came over late and brought me hugs, hope, and some PB M&Ms. It was kinda fucking awesome and they are kind of my hero right now. <3
That's part of the problem. She always says that. And they never call back - ASAP or otherwise. I don't want to be the kid who takes his ball home when he doesn't get his way but I am PAYING for the service. It's not a courtesy, it's part of the service that I expect. So I've heard all of this before. Perhaps this time was different.
Turns out it was. But I started hearing the same excuses and my blood began to boil. I shot up from my desk and frantically searched for an office with a door I could close. I fell about 12 paces short. Right in the hallway, in front of cubes and offices alike, I *kinda* lost my shit. Temper flared. Voice raised. Effectiveness was questions. Expletives were utilized.
It takes a lot to get me worked up. Even more so these days than just a few years ago. And I cannot tell you when I have been that upset. I was given assurances. I was given promises. I don't care about all of that. I want results. And I think I've paid quite enough to have "earned" the right to get them.
I think my outburst, embarrassing as it was, actually may get things rolling. I hate squeaky wheel syndrome. I don't like to be the complainer. But the time had long passed for me to give this person a piece of my mind. I like where things are going, at least preliminarily. We'll see in the coming months if I made the right choice in sticking with them. I hope so. I'm just tired of the fighting.
Well, a few hours later, I guess things just caught up with me and I began sobbing at my desk. I went into a dark office and got my shit back together. I returned to my desk, cracked open a special bottle of Woodford, poured a triple, and gulped it in one motion.
Thankfully the night was not full of further acts of self-destruction. In fact, quite the opposite. A friend came over late and brought me hugs, hope, and some PB M&Ms. It was kinda fucking awesome and they are kind of my hero right now. <3
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Perfect answer
True admiration and honest appreciation... and a little bit of the tinglies.
...
Do you know what that is up there? That is the feeling you get after asking a person a question and then being given, dare I say rewarded with, the perfect answer.
How do I know what perfect answer feels like? Because I am lucky. So lucky. It was my pleasure tonight to know that I had just witnessed the most complete and, dare I say, mind-reading reply to any query I have ever postulated to either an audience or an individual! Ever.
Earlier I was messaging my friend and I threw out a flirty and clever question. After a few moments I read the response. I heard the record scratch and the music stop in my brain. I almost pictured my friend holding an imaginary mic into the air, pausing for that moment of trepidation before dropping it onto the stage and just walking off. The response was "Ralphie's Theme A+++++++" awesome.
I told my friend as much:
"... no better has any answer every come from any question I have ever asked. In fact, you read my mind and answered better than how I knew to question it. Bravo."
So the question must've been a juicy one, right? Not one bit. It was totally mundane. And the answer was more or less about groceries. Meats. Cheeses. Crackers. Tortilla chips are way better than potato chips. Hummus. Carrots. Red Peppers. Peas in a pod. Almonds. Granny Smiths. Lots of good stuff.
It's these little things that get me through the day. It's taking time to appreciate the little things that make each day different. How often do you hear the perfect answer to your question? With a little luck, at least once, up until *that* point in your life. So I'm lucky. So lucky. Will a better one ever come along? I don't know. But the bar has been set.
...
Do you know what that is up there? That is the feeling you get after asking a person a question and then being given, dare I say rewarded with, the perfect answer.
How do I know what perfect answer feels like? Because I am lucky. So lucky. It was my pleasure tonight to know that I had just witnessed the most complete and, dare I say, mind-reading reply to any query I have ever postulated to either an audience or an individual! Ever.
Earlier I was messaging my friend and I threw out a flirty and clever question. After a few moments I read the response. I heard the record scratch and the music stop in my brain. I almost pictured my friend holding an imaginary mic into the air, pausing for that moment of trepidation before dropping it onto the stage and just walking off. The response was "Ralphie's Theme A+++++++" awesome.
I told my friend as much:
"... no better has any answer every come from any question I have ever asked. In fact, you read my mind and answered better than how I knew to question it. Bravo."
So the question must've been a juicy one, right? Not one bit. It was totally mundane. And the answer was more or less about groceries. Meats. Cheeses. Crackers. Tortilla chips are way better than potato chips. Hummus. Carrots. Red Peppers. Peas in a pod. Almonds. Granny Smiths. Lots of good stuff.
It's these little things that get me through the day. It's taking time to appreciate the little things that make each day different. How often do you hear the perfect answer to your question? With a little luck, at least once, up until *that* point in your life. So I'm lucky. So lucky. Will a better one ever come along? I don't know. But the bar has been set.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Please leave me alone
Please leave me alone.
Please leave my friends alone.
It's been long enough. There is no need for it. Let's move on.
Please leave my friends alone.
It's been long enough. There is no need for it. Let's move on.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Comfortable 24
If I were to consider the previous 48 hours, the last 24 hours has been the yin to the previous 24's yang. And it's just what I needed.
I have no idea when I passed out last night at my desk. It was early. I woke up to daylight in bed. It was a hard sleep. I woke up and enjoyed my normal Sunday morning routine... video games in my pjs. I showered 'cause my hair was wacky. Enjoyed lunch. Garbanzo beans & green chiles over rice and sriracha. It wasn't my best batch but it's comfort food. It doesn't have to be right. Rearranged the living room with some talented help. I think this is it. I think it is locked in, Tetris tight. Watched a great movie - Pan's Labyrinth. And it felt so good. So relaxed. And a great movie! Hearty snack of cheeses, ham, and crackers. Watched some football. Fantastic stuff. Enjoyed some intense moments in the studio. Whew. Great afternoon. Fantastic. Ate a dinner of pb on dinner rolls and a banana. Watched the A-Rod doctor's confession on 60 Minutes. Yowza! Man, fuck baseball. Finished the evening with a comfort task... hand washing dishes. :)
I have no idea when I passed out last night at my desk. It was early. I woke up to daylight in bed. It was a hard sleep. I woke up and enjoyed my normal Sunday morning routine... video games in my pjs. I showered 'cause my hair was wacky. Enjoyed lunch. Garbanzo beans & green chiles over rice and sriracha. It wasn't my best batch but it's comfort food. It doesn't have to be right. Rearranged the living room with some talented help. I think this is it. I think it is locked in, Tetris tight. Watched a great movie - Pan's Labyrinth. And it felt so good. So relaxed. And a great movie! Hearty snack of cheeses, ham, and crackers. Watched some football. Fantastic stuff. Enjoyed some intense moments in the studio. Whew. Great afternoon. Fantastic. Ate a dinner of pb on dinner rolls and a banana. Watched the A-Rod doctor's confession on 60 Minutes. Yowza! Man, fuck baseball. Finished the evening with a comfort task... hand washing dishes. :)
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Raging 24
It has been a cuh-razy awesome last 24 hours. Like one of those all-day-and-all-night parties that are normally reserved for big events like weddings and reunions and the like. But it hasn't been any big event other than a day in the life. Some days are bad. Some days are good. Some days are non-stop action and fun. Here is the the recap, speed run style (this style was a fave of mine in older blogs):
Guest arrived on time. Looking fantastic! As-of-yet-unnamed cocktails. Chit. Chat. Catch-up. Living room. Studio. Balcony. Great convo. Great fun. Late night insomnia. Fb'ing too late. Wake up to super cute fb message. Starts the day right. (Since day starts too early) Go out to help move heavy furniture. Kids are looking cute. In great moods. iPad is *well* received. Turns out it's just one heavy thing. But *dozens* of handheld toy trips. Hint: PLASTIC BINS! :) Lunch pick-up from JJ's. Crazy fun fb'ing. Mmmm. Great time in the studio. Grey > Sky Blue. On canvas. Not real life. Game of Thrones Season 1 marathon on HBO. Super-duper productive day just melted like the Golden Crown. Ate shepherd's plate for dinner. Carved ham, fresh cheese, rice crackers, and a banana. Nom! Early bed time tonight. Enticing fb'ing before settling down. Oxymoron... enticed != settled. Looking forward to my next 24. So lucky. Sooooo lucky.
Guest arrived on time. Looking fantastic! As-of-yet-unnamed cocktails. Chit. Chat. Catch-up. Living room. Studio. Balcony. Great convo. Great fun. Late night insomnia. Fb'ing too late. Wake up to super cute fb message. Starts the day right. (Since day starts too early) Go out to help move heavy furniture. Kids are looking cute. In great moods. iPad is *well* received. Turns out it's just one heavy thing. But *dozens* of handheld toy trips. Hint: PLASTIC BINS! :) Lunch pick-up from JJ's. Crazy fun fb'ing. Mmmm. Great time in the studio. Grey > Sky Blue. On canvas. Not real life. Game of Thrones Season 1 marathon on HBO. Super-duper productive day just melted like the Golden Crown. Ate shepherd's plate for dinner. Carved ham, fresh cheese, rice crackers, and a banana. Nom! Early bed time tonight. Enticing fb'ing before settling down. Oxymoron... enticed != settled. Looking forward to my next 24. So lucky. Sooooo lucky.
Friday, January 10, 2014
You can always count on corn!
Years ago, a group of friends of mine and I were hanging out, as friends do. We were sipping bourbon, also as friends do (this may have been the brownie/bourbon incident... I can't remember). This group of friends are witty, intelligent, and creative. Either from the bourbon or just the natural progression of our crazy conversations, we somehow got on this crazy t-shirt idea.
What we planned was a shirt with a clip art picture of a toilet on the back. The front will simply say "You can always count on corn!"
Corn has been involved in my last three meals. And I'm happy to report that our t-shirt idea still holds true. Bwahahahahahahahaha! :)
What we planned was a shirt with a clip art picture of a toilet on the back. The front will simply say "You can always count on corn!"
Corn has been involved in my last three meals. And I'm happy to report that our t-shirt idea still holds true. Bwahahahahahahahaha! :)
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Crazy energy!!!1!!
Editor's note: Dr. DeadBrinley is neither a licensed physician nor licensed psychiatrist. He is the author of blogs on silly shit and personal introspection, including his bestseller of 2014 "It's a brand new...". This article contains some words and ideas taken from his earlier essays on the topics of silly introspection and personal shit.
I have been feeling energetic recently. *Very* energetic. My confidence is high. My ego feels boosted. Day seems brighter. Work seems harder (hrmph). Drive home is funner. Bad news seems like news. Good news seems like OMFGCANYOUFUCKINGBELIEVETHIS fan-fucking-tastic. I have so many crazy ideas running through my head. I'm putting long hours in at work again. Every sentence *needs* a word with asterisks and *multiple* exclamation marks!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!one!!!! When I lie in bed at night I can't hear my heart thumping through my ear against my pillow and it seems so loud! I'm being social. Went to Garage tonight (well, it was kinda work-related). I have plans this weekend with a variety of friends for all kinds of fun activities: beers, babies, and Friday night cocktails! I'm making media. I've been a painting machine. I've cranked out 3pieces and am actively working on 4 more. MACHINE, I tells ya! I'm staying under budget (I barely spent $250 this week... waaaaay under the magic number). Kick ass! I'm getting more into social media. LinkedIn, you're next and I have my eye on you, Spotify. I'm on Facebook again talking with friends and reading up on people from all *kinds* of periods of my life! Ry-kim is on here!!! From 5th grade!!!!!! He was fucking supposed to be president by now! :) Life seems just grand.
...
All of the above is what I'm willing to *freely* admit. What I'm ignoring, since I am *really* enjoying this "high" that seems to keep persisting, are the other things I'm feeling...
SPOILER ALERT: They are not as happy as above. [insert frowny face] :(
I have a *lot* of energy. But it's not, like, energy that I feel like I can go use to run a marathon. It's more like "mental" energy. I don't know if that makes sense. My head actually feels buzzing with ideas and scenarios and I'm always thinking (well, more than normal). But this energy feels unnatural or almost artificial.
All of this energy is really fucking with my sleeping. Or lack of. Or, how about I'm not sleeping. It's taking me hours to settle and it takes me an hour to stir. That is *very* uncharacteristic. I fall asleep within 60 seconds and when I wake up I am normally ready and sharp in the mornings.
I have lost most of my appetite. I'm just not eating. Nothing seems yummy. Welllll, there is always room for PB M&Ms and Pringle's Nacho Cheese Tortilla Chips (seriously, have you tried these? Stop reading this nonsense and go buy 4 for $3 at your local Walgreens now). But nothing seems worth putting in my mouth.
I am having trouble focusing. My little grey matter is flitting about just a teensy weensy too fast. I had a better handle on it a few weeks ago but I'm noticing a rise in fleeting thoughts. Since I have been a victim of sleep deprivation in the past, I know that this can totally be attributed to the lack of sleep.
I am sweating. And no, that's not slang for stressin'. I am sweating sweat... profusely. It's mostly my hands. It's been very bad the last two days. That is a very recent development so perhaps attributed to the dramatic weather earlier this week? I am embarrassed to admit to keeping paper towels, rolled into a cylinder, in each pocket so I may discreetly squeeze it them when I need to "dry off". I sit in an open floor plan around a busy walkway and I don't want to seem weird. Granny would lend me one of her handkerchiefs if she were with us. :)
And I am sad. The sadness is profound. It stabs me through the fucking heart like a spear. A week ago I felt crippled by it. I am fighting. I am pushing it away as best I can. I am fighting it but I fear I am losing as the days and weeks wane. I feel like there is a struggle in my head between feeling on top and being at the bottom.
So much is going well for me. Yes, I received some horrible news at work today (I will blog about that another time) and some of us discussed some radically crazy fucking schemes involving foreign countries that I'm not certain I want to periodically visit (another time as well), but soooooooo much is going well right now. I'm not ready to come down yet.
I've felt this sustained "on top" feeling for weeks... I think since my visit to Sysko Mountain in Maine before Thanksgiving. If I had to guess when it started it was that week. Something about that place was magical. It opened up a place in my soul that has been dormant. It kicked some rust off of this shriveled black heart. I felt alive again.
I just wish feeling so alive... had an on/off switch. ;)
I have been feeling energetic recently. *Very* energetic. My confidence is high. My ego feels boosted. Day seems brighter. Work seems harder (hrmph). Drive home is funner. Bad news seems like news. Good news seems like OMFGCANYOUFUCKINGBELIEVETHIS fan-fucking-tastic. I have so many crazy ideas running through my head. I'm putting long hours in at work again. Every sentence *needs* a word with asterisks and *multiple* exclamation marks!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!one!!!! When I lie in bed at night I can't hear my heart thumping through my ear against my pillow and it seems so loud! I'm being social. Went to Garage tonight (well, it was kinda work-related). I have plans this weekend with a variety of friends for all kinds of fun activities: beers, babies, and Friday night cocktails! I'm making media. I've been a painting machine. I've cranked out 3pieces and am actively working on 4 more. MACHINE, I tells ya! I'm staying under budget (I barely spent $250 this week... waaaaay under the magic number). Kick ass! I'm getting more into social media. LinkedIn, you're next and I have my eye on you, Spotify. I'm on Facebook again talking with friends and reading up on people from all *kinds* of periods of my life! Ry-kim is on here!!! From 5th grade!!!!!! He was fucking supposed to be president by now! :) Life seems just grand.
...
All of the above is what I'm willing to *freely* admit. What I'm ignoring, since I am *really* enjoying this "high" that seems to keep persisting, are the other things I'm feeling...
SPOILER ALERT: They are not as happy as above. [insert frowny face] :(
I have a *lot* of energy. But it's not, like, energy that I feel like I can go use to run a marathon. It's more like "mental" energy. I don't know if that makes sense. My head actually feels buzzing with ideas and scenarios and I'm always thinking (well, more than normal). But this energy feels unnatural or almost artificial.
All of this energy is really fucking with my sleeping. Or lack of. Or, how about I'm not sleeping. It's taking me hours to settle and it takes me an hour to stir. That is *very* uncharacteristic. I fall asleep within 60 seconds and when I wake up I am normally ready and sharp in the mornings.
I have lost most of my appetite. I'm just not eating. Nothing seems yummy. Welllll, there is always room for PB M&Ms and Pringle's Nacho Cheese Tortilla Chips (seriously, have you tried these? Stop reading this nonsense and go buy 4 for $3 at your local Walgreens now). But nothing seems worth putting in my mouth.
I am having trouble focusing. My little grey matter is flitting about just a teensy weensy too fast. I had a better handle on it a few weeks ago but I'm noticing a rise in fleeting thoughts. Since I have been a victim of sleep deprivation in the past, I know that this can totally be attributed to the lack of sleep.
I am sweating. And no, that's not slang for stressin'. I am sweating sweat... profusely. It's mostly my hands. It's been very bad the last two days. That is a very recent development so perhaps attributed to the dramatic weather earlier this week? I am embarrassed to admit to keeping paper towels, rolled into a cylinder, in each pocket so I may discreetly squeeze it them when I need to "dry off". I sit in an open floor plan around a busy walkway and I don't want to seem weird. Granny would lend me one of her handkerchiefs if she were with us. :)
And I am sad. The sadness is profound. It stabs me through the fucking heart like a spear. A week ago I felt crippled by it. I am fighting. I am pushing it away as best I can. I am fighting it but I fear I am losing as the days and weeks wane. I feel like there is a struggle in my head between feeling on top and being at the bottom.
So much is going well for me. Yes, I received some horrible news at work today (I will blog about that another time) and some of us discussed some radically crazy fucking schemes involving foreign countries that I'm not certain I want to periodically visit (another time as well), but soooooooo much is going well right now. I'm not ready to come down yet.
I've felt this sustained "on top" feeling for weeks... I think since my visit to Sysko Mountain in Maine before Thanksgiving. If I had to guess when it started it was that week. Something about that place was magical. It opened up a place in my soul that has been dormant. It kicked some rust off of this shriveled black heart. I felt alive again.
I just wish feeling so alive... had an on/off switch. ;)
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Funny Walgreens Story
Stopped by my corner Walgreens right after work picking up some envelopes. I always buy a bag
of Peanut Butter M&Ms but I didn't see any at the counter. I mentioned it and the guy looked
over his register but didn't see any.
"I'm sure there are some on the candy aisle," he offered.
"No big deal. I don't *need* them," I said.
This nice old I-almost-would-have-thought-
I thanked her and slapped them on the counter. The clerk told me they were on sale, 3 for $2. I turned to the lady and she already had two more bags in her hands. We all laughed. She asked if they were any good. I paid for my order and gave her a bag. She made such a big deal out of it... must've made her night! And it made me feel so good inside. :)
"I'm sure there are some on the candy aisle," he offered.
"No big deal. I don't *need* them," I said.
This nice old I-almost-would-have-thought-
I thanked her and slapped them on the counter. The clerk told me they were on sale, 3 for $2. I turned to the lady and she already had two more bags in her hands. We all laughed. She asked if they were any good. I paid for my order and gave her a bag. She made such a big deal out of it... must've made her night! And it made me feel so good inside. :)
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
I have a new addiction...
Facebook.
Ugh. I'm so ashamed. It gives me that same thrill that checking my Match.com page did for me back when I was thinking about dating (before I realized how slim the pickings actually were *and* also how impossibly picky I am). It's like rock to a crackhead for me... I gotta smoke it. I spent over 2 hours on it tonight chatting with this person or that person and surfing and posting pictures.
I had made plans with a friend on fb (remember resolution #3?) to go out last Saturday (go resolution #1!) to a New Years Part Deux party but I blew it off because I was a painting machine (ahem, resolution #2) that day and night. Now I have plans to go out with an old friend on Friday. Not sure where quite yet but around the St. Matthews Station area. I've already reached out to so many old friends. I've made tentatively plans to have a drink with an old fraternity brother in February out in Denver. I've laughed about a bad breakup with an ex from 20 years back. I've discussed life, death, divorce, and everything in between. I've chatted with my sis and my bff and my college buddy and my old fraternity brothers and high school classmates and church folks. It's been so amazing and fun and inspiring and therapeutic. How many "ands" can be used in two sentences!?
But, alas, I am still so heartbroken. And I feel so, so lonely. I don't know if this is purposeful, like for my own good, but I feel ignored and I hate it. And I hate that I feel like that. But I am doing my *best* to fight it. It doesn't feel like I'm winning but I'm not losing either. So that is something. Having so many people reach out to me, albeit virtually, is a good dose of positivity for the soul! I am so glad I did this!
Now I just hope it doesn't kill too much productivity. I haven't put it on my phone... yet. ;)
Ugh. I'm so ashamed. It gives me that same thrill that checking my Match.com page did for me back when I was thinking about dating (before I realized how slim the pickings actually were *and* also how impossibly picky I am). It's like rock to a crackhead for me... I gotta smoke it. I spent over 2 hours on it tonight chatting with this person or that person and surfing and posting pictures.
I had made plans with a friend on fb (remember resolution #3?) to go out last Saturday (go resolution #1!) to a New Years Part Deux party but I blew it off because I was a painting machine (ahem, resolution #2) that day and night. Now I have plans to go out with an old friend on Friday. Not sure where quite yet but around the St. Matthews Station area. I've already reached out to so many old friends. I've made tentatively plans to have a drink with an old fraternity brother in February out in Denver. I've laughed about a bad breakup with an ex from 20 years back. I've discussed life, death, divorce, and everything in between. I've chatted with my sis and my bff and my college buddy and my old fraternity brothers and high school classmates and church folks. It's been so amazing and fun and inspiring and therapeutic. How many "ands" can be used in two sentences!?
But, alas, I am still so heartbroken. And I feel so, so lonely. I don't know if this is purposeful, like for my own good, but I feel ignored and I hate it. And I hate that I feel like that. But I am doing my *best* to fight it. It doesn't feel like I'm winning but I'm not losing either. So that is something. Having so many people reach out to me, albeit virtually, is a good dose of positivity for the soul! I am so glad I did this!
Now I just hope it doesn't kill too much productivity. I haven't put it on my phone... yet. ;)
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Just another manic Sunday
I had a full day. I'm gonna let a friend help tell the tale (or rather, excerpts from emails), I'm going to let Facebook tell the tales with recycling posts, and I'll add comments in between because... eh, effort:
I drove around for 40 minutes trying to decide where to eat. I thought I wanted Moby Dick but then found myself at Tumbleweed in Bashford Manor and onto Skyline in Mid-City Mall and onward. I ended up at Twig & Leaf. I had never sat at the bar so I sat at the bar.
I should never get into a car to go eat and not already know before I put the key in the ignition.
After a quick trip to Preston I've been up in the studio all day jamming to old Cypress Hill. I got this thing called a Catalyst wedge from Princeton and I fell in love with it last night. I picked up 2 more and a Catalyst brush along with a can of grass green and some plastic palette knives. I wanted two things: a large, bright piece at the foot of my stairs to brighten up a very neutral room *and* to try out the new Catalyst silicon wedges and brush. Boom. The end result is "Dandelion". Silly, simple, and whimsical.
And I *do* love that piece, "Dandelion". I fb'ed it. I'm a dork.
Creative juices were flowing yesterday *and* today. Among working on several other things all involving the color blue, I touched up and I am finally calling "O.D.B." done. I can't believe it's been ten years since he passed away. Miss ya, Ol' Dirty (aka Dirt McGirt aka Big Baby Jesus aka Osiris aka Ason aka Russell Jones aka Ol' Dirty Bastard)!
"O.D.B." is the second-longest piece I've worked on, clocking in at just over 9 years. All I ended up doing was applying black to an area where I had considered so many things. In the end, those 9 years waited on 3 minutes of painting. There's no father to his style, that's why he's the Ol' Dirty Bastard. ;)
I completely rearranged every bit of furniture in the studio. *This* is it though. The room looks twice as big than/then (I actually believe both are legal in this case) any previous iteration. I have wall space to hang art now. I actually have a small slot to *store* canvases now. I block the kinda ugly, omni-open closet with the easel, which now gets direct sunlight and gives me a great view as I work. All of the shelves fit so quaintly on one wall, Tetris-ing perfectly between the window and the swingway of the door to the balcony. This. Is. It. The room is tied together. :D
All of this is a true story. I need a better light option than my homemade tube light though.
And in doing so the studio no longer needs the two paper lanterns that so gave off such decorative yet low light. I put them in the alcove in my bedroom and flipped the switch. I love the effect! And the light compliments the little lamp I have in there. I may use that extension cord to put more stuff up there... I'll see what I can come up with. Best of all, now I don't have to solve the lamp problem in my bedroom (my latest option felt like a Tiffany floor lamp, which I was stoked about but had no idea how I was going to fit *that* into my weekly budget). Ex off the list! Win and win.
It really looks great. I feel like I'm in the alley off a market... a place where I might find a mogwai for sale. Muwahahaha!
So no filing/trashing tonight. But Lawd I need to. This place is even more trashed with all of the pretties I'm finding during further unpacking and rearranging. I love this bin idea though. I encourage everyone to do it. And I think it's a good exercise in both reminiscing and decluttering. :)
I have this system of bins where I am going to put pictures, memorabilia, knickknacks, and pretties from different periods in my life into them. I think it's a great idea! But right now my first floor is WRECKED!!!
Whew, it's late but I'm jazzed. And gawd I do not want to "go to" work tomorrow (I know, it's only "log in"). I have a flippin' meeting at 8am. :(
I have been on holiday for more than 2 weeks. I am not going in due to this Snowmegeddon that didn't happen. I've been so busy and enjoying just doing so many things other than working. I am actually dreading going back to giving up 8 hours to it. Grr.
For the first time ever in my life, during this extended leave from work, I am starting to see the value in the idea of the r-word... retirement.
I drove around for 40 minutes trying to decide where to eat. I thought I wanted Moby Dick but then found myself at Tumbleweed in Bashford Manor and onto Skyline in Mid-City Mall and onward. I ended up at Twig & Leaf. I had never sat at the bar so I sat at the bar.
I should never get into a car to go eat and not already know before I put the key in the ignition.
After a quick trip to Preston I've been up in the studio all day jamming to old Cypress Hill. I got this thing called a Catalyst wedge from Princeton and I fell in love with it last night. I picked up 2 more and a Catalyst brush along with a can of grass green and some plastic palette knives. I wanted two things: a large, bright piece at the foot of my stairs to brighten up a very neutral room *and* to try out the new Catalyst silicon wedges and brush. Boom. The end result is "Dandelion". Silly, simple, and whimsical.
And I *do* love that piece, "Dandelion". I fb'ed it. I'm a dork.
Creative juices were flowing yesterday *and* today. Among working on several other things all involving the color blue, I touched up and I am finally calling "O.D.B." done. I can't believe it's been ten years since he passed away. Miss ya, Ol' Dirty (aka Dirt McGirt aka Big Baby Jesus aka Osiris aka Ason aka Russell Jones aka Ol' Dirty Bastard)!
"O.D.B." is the second-longest piece I've worked on, clocking in at just over 9 years. All I ended up doing was applying black to an area where I had considered so many things. In the end, those 9 years waited on 3 minutes of painting. There's no father to his style, that's why he's the Ol' Dirty Bastard. ;)
I completely rearranged every bit of furniture in the studio. *This* is it though. The room looks twice as big than/then (I actually believe both are legal in this case) any previous iteration. I have wall space to hang art now. I actually have a small slot to *store* canvases now. I block the kinda ugly, omni-open closet with the easel, which now gets direct sunlight and gives me a great view as I work. All of the shelves fit so quaintly on one wall, Tetris-ing perfectly between the window and the swingway of the door to the balcony. This. Is. It. The room is tied together. :D
All of this is a true story. I need a better light option than my homemade tube light though.
And in doing so the studio no longer needs the two paper lanterns that so gave off such decorative yet low light. I put them in the alcove in my bedroom and flipped the switch. I love the effect! And the light compliments the little lamp I have in there. I may use that extension cord to put more stuff up there... I'll see what I can come up with. Best of all, now I don't have to solve the lamp problem in my bedroom (my latest option felt like a Tiffany floor lamp, which I was stoked about but had no idea how I was going to fit *that* into my weekly budget). Ex off the list! Win and win.
It really looks great. I feel like I'm in the alley off a market... a place where I might find a mogwai for sale. Muwahahaha!
So no filing/trashing tonight. But Lawd I need to. This place is even more trashed with all of the pretties I'm finding during further unpacking and rearranging. I love this bin idea though. I encourage everyone to do it. And I think it's a good exercise in both reminiscing and decluttering. :)
I have this system of bins where I am going to put pictures, memorabilia, knickknacks, and pretties from different periods in my life into them. I think it's a great idea! But right now my first floor is WRECKED!!!
Whew, it's late but I'm jazzed. And gawd I do not want to "go to" work tomorrow (I know, it's only "log in"). I have a flippin' meeting at 8am. :(
I have been on holiday for more than 2 weeks. I am not going in due to this Snowmegeddon that didn't happen. I've been so busy and enjoying just doing so many things other than working. I am actually dreading going back to giving up 8 hours to it. Grr.
For the first time ever in my life, during this extended leave from work, I am starting to see the value in the idea of the r-word... retirement.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Thoughts on love and children
I once thought after college I would find a job, fall in love, get married, have 2.5 kids, own a house with a garage, and retire at age 65 - just like a Norman Rockwell brochure would have you believe if there were such things. In reality, I'm nearing 40, twice divorced, grizzled and cranky, renting, fucking broke, half-impotent, disenfranchised, and generally kind of a bummer to be around. Hooray for the 'merican dream!
I am a realist. I know that my chance at fatherhood is fading - at least a chance for a typical fatherhood exercise. Why do I want to be a father? Because I think I would be a great one. But does that mean I really want to be one? Hmm, now that's an interesting question. Let's table that for a moment.
In order to be a father I have to find a woman to love (well, at least that's how one is supposed to go about doing it... or so I've heard) and make babies with. I've fallen in and out of love all my life. And I still have no idea how it all works out. My favorite kinds of love are the ones I can't have and/or keep - brand new love, forbidden love, and trysts. I guess the long-lasting type of love never took with me. I dunno. I'm not going to go to the effort of trying to explain it. Far too many therapists have proven far too inconclusive to lead me to believe that there is any particularly correct answer.
So do I want to be a father and can I fall in love? These questions have been at the forefront of my thoughts these days. I am heartbroken, and when the afflicted of said emotional ailment suffer we really like to pour it on by embracing even further negative thoughts. It's such a delicious spiral of self-perpetuating misery. My point is, I'm beating myself up over it. Like I'm some kind of loser because I can't find a woman to love and make babies with.
While reading an unrelated article today, I came across someone using her words to say things that made me think... and almost think that I may want to agree with her. It's kinda scary because it goes against societal thinking and what I've been taught to believe. But maybe she makes a little bit of sense...
On children:
I sometimes wonder if my parents lost more than they gained by having children. That, in the process of planning for our futures, they forgot about their own lives. There’s so much they could have done — should have done — when they were younger. Now, it’s too late. It’s like they went to bed at 30 only to wake up at 60 determined to make up for lost time. Except now the hourglass is nearly empty and the world has lost most of its luster. Selfish as it may sound, I could never travel that same road. I could never give my life to my kids; and please, save your “but you can have it both ways” spiel for someone less cynical. You don’t win the Mommy of the Year award sitting in a boardroom, and you don’t get a promotion for catching every Christmas concert. In one scenario, you resent your kids. In the other, you resent yourself. I haven’t yet decided which is worse, and to be quite frank, I don’t think I ever want to.
On love:
If I learned anything in 2013, it’s that love — the overwhelming, this-is-the-one kind, the love that makes you weak in the knees, if not slightly duller in the head — isn’t real. It exists outside of reality... The fall is fun, for a while. But big love is just that… oversized and oversold. Overstated and filled with impossible expectations. I don’t want to fall into that kind of love again. It lacks substance. I prefer the little loves. My best friend’s daughter running around the kitchen chanting, “It’s all rainbows,” over and over again. The wag of a dog’s tail when you scratch the sweet spot behind her ear. Neglected nuances, subtle sincerity — that’s where love lives. Lost in a pile of unmatched socks, it sits and waits for you, overlooked and underappreciated. Flawed but sturdy; frustrating but frank. A beautiful mess of sadness and hope. Fuck engagement rings and moonlit walks on the beach. Love hurts because that’s the only way to tell that it’s real.
The article was 14 Fucks I Refuse to Give in 2014 - Forget about New Year’s Resolutions. This year, I’m making a Fuck It list. It was rather amusing but an article on neither children nor love. I just really connected with some things she said and she got my attention with those two.
I can't control what the Universe will do. I can only take the opportunities she offers. I just hope to choose well... and that on my last day as I gasp my last breath I know that I have made a positive impact in people's lives.
I am a realist. I know that my chance at fatherhood is fading - at least a chance for a typical fatherhood exercise. Why do I want to be a father? Because I think I would be a great one. But does that mean I really want to be one? Hmm, now that's an interesting question. Let's table that for a moment.
In order to be a father I have to find a woman to love (well, at least that's how one is supposed to go about doing it... or so I've heard) and make babies with. I've fallen in and out of love all my life. And I still have no idea how it all works out. My favorite kinds of love are the ones I can't have and/or keep - brand new love, forbidden love, and trysts. I guess the long-lasting type of love never took with me. I dunno. I'm not going to go to the effort of trying to explain it. Far too many therapists have proven far too inconclusive to lead me to believe that there is any particularly correct answer.
So do I want to be a father and can I fall in love? These questions have been at the forefront of my thoughts these days. I am heartbroken, and when the afflicted of said emotional ailment suffer we really like to pour it on by embracing even further negative thoughts. It's such a delicious spiral of self-perpetuating misery. My point is, I'm beating myself up over it. Like I'm some kind of loser because I can't find a woman to love and make babies with.
While reading an unrelated article today, I came across someone using her words to say things that made me think... and almost think that I may want to agree with her. It's kinda scary because it goes against societal thinking and what I've been taught to believe. But maybe she makes a little bit of sense...
On children:
I sometimes wonder if my parents lost more than they gained by having children. That, in the process of planning for our futures, they forgot about their own lives. There’s so much they could have done — should have done — when they were younger. Now, it’s too late. It’s like they went to bed at 30 only to wake up at 60 determined to make up for lost time. Except now the hourglass is nearly empty and the world has lost most of its luster. Selfish as it may sound, I could never travel that same road. I could never give my life to my kids; and please, save your “but you can have it both ways” spiel for someone less cynical. You don’t win the Mommy of the Year award sitting in a boardroom, and you don’t get a promotion for catching every Christmas concert. In one scenario, you resent your kids. In the other, you resent yourself. I haven’t yet decided which is worse, and to be quite frank, I don’t think I ever want to.
On love:
If I learned anything in 2013, it’s that love — the overwhelming, this-is-the-one kind, the love that makes you weak in the knees, if not slightly duller in the head — isn’t real. It exists outside of reality... The fall is fun, for a while. But big love is just that… oversized and oversold. Overstated and filled with impossible expectations. I don’t want to fall into that kind of love again. It lacks substance. I prefer the little loves. My best friend’s daughter running around the kitchen chanting, “It’s all rainbows,” over and over again. The wag of a dog’s tail when you scratch the sweet spot behind her ear. Neglected nuances, subtle sincerity — that’s where love lives. Lost in a pile of unmatched socks, it sits and waits for you, overlooked and underappreciated. Flawed but sturdy; frustrating but frank. A beautiful mess of sadness and hope. Fuck engagement rings and moonlit walks on the beach. Love hurts because that’s the only way to tell that it’s real.
The article was 14 Fucks I Refuse to Give in 2014 - Forget about New Year’s Resolutions. This year, I’m making a Fuck It list. It was rather amusing but an article on neither children nor love. I just really connected with some things she said and she got my attention with those two.
I can't control what the Universe will do. I can only take the opportunities she offers. I just hope to choose well... and that on my last day as I gasp my last breath I know that I have made a positive impact in people's lives.
Friday, January 3, 2014
One. More. Turn.
One. More. Turn.
This phrase is common among serious strategy game players, as well as many who passionately love video games. I know it all too well. Oh boy, do I. But why did I choose it as my blog title? I think because it means several things to me.
Technically, it came from the video game world. I think the forum communities of one of the Civilization series of video games is actually attributed with coining it. It simply is used to express that feeling of amazement and ambition to play that new and/or fantastic video game for just *that* much longer. Normally it is muttered to oneself as a means of stalling before having to move onto another task. Sometimes to stall sleep. And in rare cases, to stall sleep until the wee hours of the morning. The game is so engrossing and/or exciting that surely there is time for just... One. More. Turn.
It reminds me of being a small boy at the arcade with my father and begging him for "Just one more quarter!" before we left. Some of my fondest memories were at the arcade as a kid. Specifically, at Malibu arcade with my dad on a Friday night. And I remember thinking that if I could just hang onto that last life or that last token then I could make the magic last all night. One. More. Quarter.
Syntactically, the phrase resembles the name of the Daft Punk track "One More Time". And that is a wonderful dance anthem celebrating any moment or experience that is worth celebrating. It's a song about holding onto that awesome moment and celebrating it for as long as you can. As I live through more winters I cherish those moments. One. More. Time.
Emotionally, the phrase stirs up the same type of feelings as the lyrics do from "One More Night" by Maroon 5. Waiting for that next turn can sometimes be as satisfying as holding onto your lover for just one more moment before letting go. Because leaving will be as bitter as the sweet was together. One. More. Night.
Scientifically, every successful beat of my heart is another win. Every moment I'm still living is a victory for me. Every spin about the axis of the Earth brings new opportunities and experiences and memories. Every revolution around the sun is another year of living.
One. More. Breath.
One. More. Minute.
One. More. Day.
One. More. Year.
One. More. Turn.
This phrase is common among serious strategy game players, as well as many who passionately love video games. I know it all too well. Oh boy, do I. But why did I choose it as my blog title? I think because it means several things to me.
Technically, it came from the video game world. I think the forum communities of one of the Civilization series of video games is actually attributed with coining it. It simply is used to express that feeling of amazement and ambition to play that new and/or fantastic video game for just *that* much longer. Normally it is muttered to oneself as a means of stalling before having to move onto another task. Sometimes to stall sleep. And in rare cases, to stall sleep until the wee hours of the morning. The game is so engrossing and/or exciting that surely there is time for just... One. More. Turn.
It reminds me of being a small boy at the arcade with my father and begging him for "Just one more quarter!" before we left. Some of my fondest memories were at the arcade as a kid. Specifically, at Malibu arcade with my dad on a Friday night. And I remember thinking that if I could just hang onto that last life or that last token then I could make the magic last all night. One. More. Quarter.
Syntactically, the phrase resembles the name of the Daft Punk track "One More Time". And that is a wonderful dance anthem celebrating any moment or experience that is worth celebrating. It's a song about holding onto that awesome moment and celebrating it for as long as you can. As I live through more winters I cherish those moments. One. More. Time.
Emotionally, the phrase stirs up the same type of feelings as the lyrics do from "One More Night" by Maroon 5. Waiting for that next turn can sometimes be as satisfying as holding onto your lover for just one more moment before letting go. Because leaving will be as bitter as the sweet was together. One. More. Night.
Scientifically, every successful beat of my heart is another win. Every moment I'm still living is a victory for me. Every spin about the axis of the Earth brings new opportunities and experiences and memories. Every revolution around the sun is another year of living.
One. More. Breath.
One. More. Minute.
One. More. Day.
One. More. Year.
One. More. Turn.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
2014 New Year Resolutions
The theme for the 2014 New Year Resolutions is "Social And Media".
Without further ado, voila:
"Social And Media"
1. Be social! Go out once a week. It can be anything as long as it gets me social - movie night, drinks, date, shopping & pedi.
2. Make media! Create a work of art every other week. I have the studio. I have the ideas. The only thing holding me back are the excuses. Do not let them.
3. Social media. Raising the self-imposed Internet ban! Get plugged back in with Facebook, LinkedIn, and Flickr. Start blogging again. It's part of my life and integrated more than I would admittedly care. So no more hiding! Embrace it!!!
4. Social exercise. Run 300 miles. Playing soccer isn't enough. But even still, I've been finding a lot of reasons to skip games recently. Gotta be more social and get out there and exercise. Plus my legs are getting weak and I just know I'm losing muscle mass. I haven't run since the mini and it's nearly time to start training for it again. These legs once won sexiest in Central High School. I can't let them go to shit.
5. Read media. Finish reading a book every other month. I love to read but I don't anymore. Why?
6. Thrifty weekly spending. Spend less than "the magic number" per week on average weekly expenses. I've done my budget projection for 2014 and I come out barely ahead if I can keep it under "the magic number". In fact, the less I spend each week the better. I need to cut down expenses in 2014 and "weekly expenses" is a fluid number where I can easily see immediate results. I know this is somewhat detrimental to both #1 and #2 but I can squeeze it in. Besides, displaying restraint with my money is a key step in gaining control of my money.
7. Do not touch the froggy. Nobody knows what this means. But I do. This is both my most silly and yet my most serious resolution. I am not going to take this seriously if I do not get serious about it. It is serious now because it is a resolution. Boom. :|
So here is where I stand:
1. Be social! I've been in a funk and staying in for the last two weeks has been scads of fun... and by "scads of" I actually mean "no amount of". So this weekend I'm going to get out and do something. Maybe only shopping this weekend if I still feel shitty. I dunno. I have my eye on this little storage bench for the foyer at Target. But I should get out and spend time with more people since I was so lame on New Year's Eve. We'll see.
2. Make media! I'm working on 3 commissioned pieces right now and also have a lineup of unfinished pieces ready for some love. I am most excited about my Samurai Jack piece but I've hit some kind of serious roadblock. I was so tuned into that one and then my brain just shouted out "QUIT" and it was done. Weird.
3. Social media. I logged back onto Facebook. What do I do about old Friends that I don't really care to stay in contact with? Do I Unfriend them? Or does that cause more attention that it's worth? I got on and saw a bunch of the same bullshit that I always see. So maybe it doesn't matter because I won't really use it that much. We'll see. I'm gunshy on LinkedIn after a lackluster Facebook re-introduction. I've logged in but done nothing else.
4. Social exercise. Soccer tonight?! And running 300 miles?! Why did I make this stupid resolution?!
5. Read media. I have several books lined up - two from Douglas Coupland, my favorite contemporary author. But the one I am itching to read (again) is The Hobbit. I read it twice in my teen years (the only book to ever earn that honor) and would like to give it another go. The moment I came down with this gawd-awful influenza was as I was walking into Tinseltown to watch The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. I know a lot of what I watched onscreen was *not* to be found in the pages of the book. That's cool and all, as long as Jackson pulls together another great climax.
6. Thrifty weekly spending. I was spending an average of over $600/week there at the end of 2013. I was out of control. I ended the year averaging just $502/week. That includes things that it shouldn't've too, like the one vacation I took in February and a few other expenses. So I've charted out 2014 and I can be in an okay spot if I keep it under "the magic number"/week. The more saved the better, of course! I really have to stick to this resolution or I am fucked.
I am the king of breaking most resolutions but sticking to that one that doesn't make the year a total bust. How cool would it be if I stuck to all of these? "Fucking cool!" is the correct answer.
Without further ado, voila:
"Social And Media"
1. Be social! Go out once a week. It can be anything as long as it gets me social - movie night, drinks, date, shopping & pedi.
2. Make media! Create a work of art every other week. I have the studio. I have the ideas. The only thing holding me back are the excuses. Do not let them.
3. Social media. Raising the self-imposed Internet ban! Get plugged back in with Facebook, LinkedIn, and Flickr. Start blogging again. It's part of my life and integrated more than I would admittedly care. So no more hiding! Embrace it!!!
4. Social exercise. Run 300 miles. Playing soccer isn't enough. But even still, I've been finding a lot of reasons to skip games recently. Gotta be more social and get out there and exercise. Plus my legs are getting weak and I just know I'm losing muscle mass. I haven't run since the mini and it's nearly time to start training for it again. These legs once won sexiest in Central High School. I can't let them go to shit.
5. Read media. Finish reading a book every other month. I love to read but I don't anymore. Why?
6. Thrifty weekly spending. Spend less than "the magic number" per week on average weekly expenses. I've done my budget projection for 2014 and I come out barely ahead if I can keep it under "the magic number". In fact, the less I spend each week the better. I need to cut down expenses in 2014 and "weekly expenses" is a fluid number where I can easily see immediate results. I know this is somewhat detrimental to both #1 and #2 but I can squeeze it in. Besides, displaying restraint with my money is a key step in gaining control of my money.
7. Do not touch the froggy. Nobody knows what this means. But I do. This is both my most silly and yet my most serious resolution. I am not going to take this seriously if I do not get serious about it. It is serious now because it is a resolution. Boom. :|
So here is where I stand:
1. Be social! I've been in a funk and staying in for the last two weeks has been scads of fun... and by "scads of" I actually mean "no amount of". So this weekend I'm going to get out and do something. Maybe only shopping this weekend if I still feel shitty. I dunno. I have my eye on this little storage bench for the foyer at Target. But I should get out and spend time with more people since I was so lame on New Year's Eve. We'll see.
2. Make media! I'm working on 3 commissioned pieces right now and also have a lineup of unfinished pieces ready for some love. I am most excited about my Samurai Jack piece but I've hit some kind of serious roadblock. I was so tuned into that one and then my brain just shouted out "QUIT" and it was done. Weird.
3. Social media. I logged back onto Facebook. What do I do about old Friends that I don't really care to stay in contact with? Do I Unfriend them? Or does that cause more attention that it's worth? I got on and saw a bunch of the same bullshit that I always see. So maybe it doesn't matter because I won't really use it that much. We'll see. I'm gunshy on LinkedIn after a lackluster Facebook re-introduction. I've logged in but done nothing else.
4. Social exercise. Soccer tonight?! And running 300 miles?! Why did I make this stupid resolution?!
5. Read media. I have several books lined up - two from Douglas Coupland, my favorite contemporary author. But the one I am itching to read (again) is The Hobbit. I read it twice in my teen years (the only book to ever earn that honor) and would like to give it another go. The moment I came down with this gawd-awful influenza was as I was walking into Tinseltown to watch The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. I know a lot of what I watched onscreen was *not* to be found in the pages of the book. That's cool and all, as long as Jackson pulls together another great climax.
6. Thrifty weekly spending. I was spending an average of over $600/week there at the end of 2013. I was out of control. I ended the year averaging just $502/week. That includes things that it shouldn't've too, like the one vacation I took in February and a few other expenses. So I've charted out 2014 and I can be in an okay spot if I keep it under "the magic number"/week. The more saved the better, of course! I really have to stick to this resolution or I am fucked.
I am the king of breaking most resolutions but sticking to that one that doesn't make the year a total bust. How cool would it be if I stuck to all of these? "Fucking cool!" is the correct answer.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
It's a brand new...
It's a brand new day. The sun came up on schedule (if you haven't looked out your window then just trust me on this one - I was awake to watch it). The frost has melted off the windshields of the cars. People are out walking their tiny dogs. Who knows what opportunities the day may bring?
It's a brand new opportunity. I have a new(ish) opportunity at work. I'm in a brand new condo. I have a brand new studio. I'm talking to brand new people about brand new things. There is just so much potential for positive things this year, one should almost resolve to set about doing something about it.
It's a brand new year. Today marks the first day of January in the year 2014 of our Lawd. I hadn't much cared for 2013, as a whole, so I fell asleep early last night and passed on ringing in the new year. However, I did manage to work on some New Year resolutions (I'll post them tomorrow) and I think they are going to help shape 2014 into a good year. Nay, dare I say a great year! Besides, 14 is kind of a go to number for me and it's been somewhat lucky for me my whole life.
It's a brand new life. We all need to do a better job of taking charge of what matters in our daily lives. And what better time than one filled with so many new beginnings? Well, the answer is that there is never *not* a good time to take charge. But now is the time for me. Right now. And I think I'm going to blog about it.
It's a brand new blog. It's a brand new year so I figure let's start a brand new blog. Typing words that record thoughts in my silly head brings me much greater joy than I ever realized when I was always doing it. I've missed it.
I come into 2014 flu-ridden, penniless, heartbroken, uninspired, debt-riddled, joyless, and unshaven. There is nowhere to go but up!
It's a brand new opportunity. I have a new(ish) opportunity at work. I'm in a brand new condo. I have a brand new studio. I'm talking to brand new people about brand new things. There is just so much potential for positive things this year, one should almost resolve to set about doing something about it.
It's a brand new year. Today marks the first day of January in the year 2014 of our Lawd. I hadn't much cared for 2013, as a whole, so I fell asleep early last night and passed on ringing in the new year. However, I did manage to work on some New Year resolutions (I'll post them tomorrow) and I think they are going to help shape 2014 into a good year. Nay, dare I say a great year! Besides, 14 is kind of a go to number for me and it's been somewhat lucky for me my whole life.
It's a brand new life. We all need to do a better job of taking charge of what matters in our daily lives. And what better time than one filled with so many new beginnings? Well, the answer is that there is never *not* a good time to take charge. But now is the time for me. Right now. And I think I'm going to blog about it.
It's a brand new blog. It's a brand new year so I figure let's start a brand new blog. Typing words that record thoughts in my silly head brings me much greater joy than I ever realized when I was always doing it. I've missed it.
I come into 2014 flu-ridden, penniless, heartbroken, uninspired, debt-riddled, joyless, and unshaven. There is nowhere to go but up!
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